Talking to Children Who Have Been Sexually Abused

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So try thinking of these conversations as being just as important and frankly more important given the statistics than teaching your child how to cross the road safely. Starting from a loving place and not a scared place will help create the calm environment for your child.

Even when parents try to hide their feelings, children are often very perceptive and pick up on small cues telling them that something is wrong.


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So speak from a calm, casual, and loving frame of mind when having these conversations. This may seem very early but children under 12 are most at risk at 4 years old. And they certainly understand and remember a lot more than adults usually realize.

Mothers whose children have been sexually abused | Domestic Violence Resource Centre Victoria

For example, when giving a bath, tell them where their private parts are and that the parent is seeing and touching them to clean them but that normally nobody should. In one case, a child told her parent that her stomach was hurting. When they took her to the doctor, he informed them that her vagina showed signs of rape. So she said stomach instead. You can also ask them what it feels like when someone is touching them their in order to keep it clean, safe, or healthy. This will help them understand the difference between that type of touching and someone touching them sexually.

And if someone does, they should tell you immediately. This is an important step to help children develop a healthy sexuality before discussing sex itself with them. Instead, teach your child that their body is theirs and no one has the right to hurt their bodies even when a grown up is doing it. It may be a parent, relative, family friend, neighbor, teacher, or religious leader.

2) It was not your fault

It may be a man, woman, or another child. It can be anyone.

Abused children risk adult obesity

No one unfortunately is on the safe list. In fact, children are most vulnerable with the family members and acquaintances. Many abusers tell their child victims that what happened was a secret and to not tell anyone, especially their parents.

Finding out your child has been sexually abused

Many abusers tell their victims that no one will believe them and create a sense of shame around what happened. Given this, children often fear what their parent will do if they tell them, including being punished.

Signs of Sexual Abuse - trigger warning

If you remember nothing else, remember this — these conversations should be ongoing, open, and casual. The DCRCC helps survivors and their families heal from the aftermath of sexual violence through crisis intervention, counseling, and advocacy.

Follow them on Facebook. For example say: "I'm sorry this happened, but remember, it was not your fault. You are not to blame.

It was the bigger person's fault. You may say something like: "This doesn't make you a bad person. You are a good person and so are the other children who have had this happen to them.

Signs of Sexual Abuse

The following are some examples of what you might say: "It was scary to have a bigger person threaten to hurt you or your family. For example you could say: "I am not sure what will happen, but I will be here for you at school. Tell the child the next step you will take.

Say something like: "I will call a person whose job it is to keep children safe. The person will come to listen to you tell what happened. Then you will be asked some questions. You must answer them truthfully.

Sexual abuse

Can you do that? That is exactly what you need to do to keep yourself safe. Do you think you can tell the truth when you answer the questions? Keep the meeting with the child confidential; do not mention it to anyone who is not professionally involved. Treat the child normally at school showing the same respect and caring you show every student. Make sure there is follow through and that the child receives support and assistance.